Valentine’s Day Anxiety

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Here it comes; that dreaded day for many.  Valentine’s Day!  The media hypes this holiday up so much that a lot of people literally get anxiety over it.  Those in apparently blissful relationships will feel the pressure of what to do for each other. Those who are in dysfunctional relationships will feel the awkwardness of, “I should do something, but what do I do for the person I’m not currently getting along with?” Then there are the singles who feel like losers because they don’t have anyone on Valentine’s Day.  Okay…just STOP!   Seriously, don’t let society and social media make you feel pressured to do anything.

Social media is a great way for people to flaunt their make believe lives.  Okay, well not everyone, although a lot of people try to upstage each other on this day.  Shouldn’t we love each other every day? Shouldn’t we give gifts randomly when the desire to do so strikes?  Should we perform acts of kindness every day?  Oh and then there’s the sex. Uh oh…I said it.  Why do people feel like they have to have sex on Valentine’s day? A good, solid relationship is so much more than a bag of candy, nice dinner, some flowers and a roll in the hay!  Of course to some people, if they don’t get those things on V Day they feel hurt or offended.  Don’t be. Look, if your significant other, your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife shows you love on a regular basis, then don’t trip on a hyped up holiday. Let’s face it, the stores jack up prices, restaurants jack up prices, jewelry stores jack up prices, flower shops and the list goes on.  These people aren’t thinking about love and feelings, they are thinking about money!

So, moral of the story is this, give love every day. Show love every day.  Enjoy life’s simple pleasures and create moments that take your breath away every day.  You don’t have to be in a relationship or marriage to do this. If you are single, pamper yourself when you feel like it.  Watch that sappy movie, buy yourself flowers or candy.  Don’t wait or expect someone else to do it.  Definitely don’t feel bad that you aren’t in a relationship or having a date for Valentine’s day.  Learn to live life with gratitude and kindness every day.  See how fulfilled you feel.

Now just so you don’t think I’m all bah humbug on love and Valentine’s Day, to you who do celebrate and enjoy, go ahead and enjoy.  As long as you and your partner are on the same page, then have at it!

Sending you all love and hugs. xoxo

Written by: Sue McGaughey

#suescoffeetalk

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INVEST IN HAPPY IN YOUR HAPPINESS

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Have you ever found yourself wondering where a big chunk of your life went? Are you asking, “How could I have been so blinded by his initial charm, and apparent love?”  When we first met he was extremely attentive, always affectionate, texting, calling and saying I love you constantly.   Hmmmmm should that have been a red flag?   How quickly the bliss can turn into a controlling, unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship.

If this at all sounds familiar to you, or you know someone who is going through this, read on. Know that you are not alone.  Often times, male or female, people enter into relationships too quickly.  The thrill of the newness, the feeling of being wanted and feeling like you are the most special and desired person on Earth, can and does become intoxicating.  Most new relationships start off wonderful.  You’re excited to see each other, you can’t wait for that call or text saying they are thinking about you and can’t wait to see you.  Ask yourself why you need that so badly?  Examine yourself and see what it is inside you that causes you to feed off of that attention?  If you find yourself addicted to the feeling that other person is giving you, then perhaps it isn’t really a healthy direction to be going.  Now, don’t get me wrong, it is really nice to feel excited about a new guy or gal in your world.  The possibility of having someone with you who compliments your life, can lead to a very healthy and happy lifelong relationship.

Now, how do you figure out the difference between a path to a healthy relationship and a path leading to a destructive relationship?  The simple answer is to take it slow and pay attention.  Don’t be afraid to check things out and ask questions.  Here are a few red flags to watch for:

  • Obsessively calling or texting you
  • Jealous early on
  • Rudeness towards other people
  • Badmouths their exes
  • Watch for a hot temper
  • Making comments about your clothing, appearance or your friends and/or family

Control usually starts off slowly.  At first the person seems cool, supportive and attentive. Slowly patterns emerge demonstrating the obsessiveness, jealousy, rudeness and controlling behaviors.  When you see this early on, either walk away then or talk with them about your concerns.  If the person isn’t willing to talk to you or becomes defensive, that is definitely a red flag that the relationship will probably head down a destructive path.  It may be difficult to walk away from someone you are heavily attracted to, but it’s better to walk away early on than to invest a chunk of your life into someone who eventually will make you more miserable than happy.

As humans, we are creatures of pleasure. We love the feeling of instant gratification and feed off the endorphins that trigger us to feel happy and excited.  What we need to learn is how to distinguish reality from fantasy.   There are many red flags in relationships, but let’s talk about some of the green flags to look for.   Here a few that show your relationship is headed in a healthy direction:

  • He or she returns your calls and messages within a 24 hour time frame
  • There is no obsessive calling and texting, rather a reasonable and timely response
  • If you’re having a night out with the guys or girls, there are not a million questions, boundaries or restrictions given to you.
  • He or she compliments your attire, rather than make derogatory remarks about it.
  • He or she does random nice things for you
  • Your happiness is important to them
  • They treat others with respect and compassion

Always enter a relationship slowly.  Take time to really get to know each other. Look for those red and green flags.  Never be afraid to ask questions along the way.  On the flip side of that, ladies especially, don’t give away too much information about yourself all at once.  A smart manipulator, will take advantage of your weaknesses and use them to their advantage.  Again, take your time, build the trust and foundation that nurtures a good, healthy relationship.  If you are smitten and thinking of building a long term relationship with someone, make sure your investment is in your happiness, not your devastation.

Written by: Sue McGaughey

FOR MORE GREAT ARTICLES LIKE THIS, FOLLOW MY COLUMN #suescoffeetalk in http://www.citytocountrymag.org

 

 

 

ATTITUDE TO GRATITUDE

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Societal influences are so confusing, aren’t they? With reality T.V. shows, films, news, music and an abundance of social media teens and even adults are being consistently influenced to conform to what’s perceived as ‘the norm’.   Women’s weight fluctuates between being anorexic skinny and being a voluptuous bigger woman. Whatever you are watching, your brain is digesting.  Are you watching shows like, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”?  What about the “Biggest Loser”?  Think about it; one show teaches you to work hard, watch what you eat, exercise and focus on a healthy way of getting in shape.  The other show, shows you how to make money looking good. They don’t really show you HOW they get to looking good.  My point is, we live in a society where people, especially the youth of today are influenced by what they see and what they hear. So many shows now a days teach people how to have attitude rather than gratitude. Our society seems to heavily influence people on how to have an image rather than how to be based in reality and just be you.

Living in the shadow of an image tends to spawn people with attitudes. Not necessarily the right type of attitudes. Kids are growing up with a sense of entitlement, a sense of wanting whatever they see advertised with zero regard for the hard work, authority or how to work for what you want.  Many youth grow up thinking they can just take what they want and worse than that, they think they can take from other people who have actually worked hard and earned what they have.  The sad thing is this attitude comes with them into their adult lives. As adults, what are we teaching our youth of today? What are we teaching each other? I think we need to be mindful of how we educate those around us with our actions and words.

In any area of your life, learn to be grateful. If you start your day giving thanks for what you have instead of complaining about what you don’t have, you will set the pace of your day on a positive path.  If you go through the day with a positive attitude and setting the example of gratitude, others will follow. If you have children, start teaching them how to be grateful for what they do have and not complain about what they don’t have. In a relationship, look for the positives and don’t focus on the negatives. What can you fix? What can you work on? Of course, the most important factor is to never give up on yourself. Find your positives and be grateful for them. Every day remind yourself of what good you do rather than focusing on things going wrong or what you don’t have. We are completely capable of influencing our own mindset and influencing those around us. Go through every day with gratitude not attitude. You will see it make a difference.

Written by: Sue McGaughey

SELF-CARE

positivity  LIFE can be stressful, negative and energy zapping.  Most people have grueling and demanding jobs, financial issues and more often than not, relationship issues.  It’s very easy to get caught up in the negatives of life and let it take over your mind.  When we allow so much negativity to surround us and infiltrate our thoughts, we tend to become negative, sometimes even depressed.  It’s super important to remember to take care of your self, not just physically but mentally too.

Over the years I’ve had my share of negativity and depression.  I’ve faced a lot of obstacles and battles letting it drain me and zap my energy.  As a result I suffered many medical issues.  I felt like my medicine cabinet was a drugstore.  One day I realized that I had to take back my own life and restore my energy.  Only I could control myself.  I had to learn from all of my mistakes and apply the lessons in a positive manner, rather than continually making the same mistakes over and over again.  Let me share with you a few things I do on a daily basis that have helped to restore balance, peace, happiness and harmony in my own life.

1 – Mindful meditation:  Every day before work or after work, I meditate. I didn’t automatically know how to do this, so I download an amazing app on my phone called, “CALM”.  It has wonderful teachings about gratitude, thankfulness, mindfulness and even has a sleep section to help me sleep more peacefully.  Once I learned how to release my mind of all the random garbage thoughts, I was able to sit still and calm.  It’s such a refreshing way to start your day or drift off to sleep.  You allow yourself to live in the moment and appreciate the here and now.

2 – Daily positive affirmations:  Every day I make a point of giving thanks for at least 3 things in the morning and 3 things at night.  No matter how bad you THINK your life is, there is always something to be grateful for.  It could be as easy as saying you are grateful to be alive, grateful for a smile, grateful for something that happened. You chose what’s meaningful to you.

3 – Get out:  Don’t allow yourself to be locked up in the house or office all day.  Fresh air does wonders for the soul.  Whether it’s sunny or cloudy outside, step out for a little walk, inhale the air, take in the view surrounding you.  Turn your cellphone off and just enjoy life’s simple pleasures by sensing what’s around you.

4 – Exercise:  Exercise doesn’t always mean going to the gym.  Find an activity you enjoy that gets your blood circulating.  Walking, hiking, yoga, weight lifting, dance class.  You find it and incorporate it into your day.  This will make a world of difference for you.  Exercise gets your endorphins moving.  You’ll feel stronger and sleep better.

5 – Me time:   Finding time for yourself is so important.  A lot of times we give so much time and energy to other people and other obligations.  We have jobs, relationships, kids, life duties….we forget about ourselves.  When you do that, it can take a toll on your body and physical well being. Stress is one of the major contributors to illness.  It’s so important to find time for yourself.  Put aside an hour a day to take care of you.  If you like to read, curl up with a good book before bed. If you like movies, pop in something fun and lighthearted.  Get a massage. Do something that makes you feel calm and happy.

Self – care is so important.  Our minds are very powerful tools that influence our way of life.  If you consistently think negatively, you start to act negatively.  Teach yourself to think positive then practice being positive.  You’ll feel wonderful! All of life is a lesson.  It’s up to us to utilize those lessons in a positive manner.  We tend to repeat the mistakes we make over and over again until we actually learn the lesson.  Once we learn, it’s like a light bulb going off in your head.  Practicing self-care is not being selfish. It’s being responsible.  You need to be responsible for your own well being.  If you aren’t, then how will you be able to be present and positive for others?  Take care of you.

Namaste

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Mindfulness

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Let’s be real, life is full of distractions, negativeness, bad luck and people that want to rob us of peace and happiness.  What can we do about that?  Here’s the answer, ‘take away their power over us’.   If we constantly let other people’s opinions, comments and judgments sway our way of thinking and/or influence our decisions and environments then we never truly have peace and happiness.    That is why mindfulness is such a great practice.   We have to learn to live in the moment and really embrace what is happening. I realize things aren’t always rosy and cheery but that’s okay because those are some of life’s best lessons.  Even those lessons should be embraced.  In every situation, all things eventually pass.

Take getting a cut on your finger. It hurts, right? Some people will obsess all day over that one little cut. Rather than do that, try feeling the pain, acknowledging the pain and then letting it go! Just breathe!  The cut will eventually heal which means it is not a permanent obstacle or issue.  In life, we must learn to let the irritations go.  People are judgmental by nature so we are never really free of judgement.  However, we can do one of two things when we are victims of judgement: 1 – let it bother us and influence us 2 – listen, observe, learn and let go.  When you learn to live in the moment and just let go of all other distractions you will eventually feel yourself being much calmer.

For me personally, I was always high strung.  Work, work and more work with barely any time to enjoy life.  I rarely stopped to smell the roses.  One day my doctor said to me, “You have a type A plus personality and it’s going to hurt you. Why don’t you bring that down to a B.”  I took his advice.  I learned to say “No” to people who were always asking things of me.  I learned to take a day off when I need to and more importantly I found yoga and meditation.  Having been in competitive martial arts for most of my life, I was always raring and ready to go.  The gym was my friend and I felt great!  Over the years the stress of life, relationships and work got to me.  I became more lazy and my workouts became less frequent. I wasn’t proud of that. I knew I had to get myself out of the cycle but it wasn’t easy.  A friend introduced me to Yoga and I absolutely loved it. Now my drug of choice is Yoga and meditation.

People hear the word meditate and freak out.  There’s nothing to freak out about.  Find a quiet space for even 5-10 minutes.  Sit up straight or lay down, clear your mind and just feel every part of your body.  Do some deep breathing and relax into the position  you are in.  I like to use the CALM app on my phone.  It has a subtle ocean sound that soothes me.  Pick something that calms you and turn that on for background noise.  If it contributes to relaxing you then make it a regular thing you incorporate to your regiment.  There are a ton of meditation apps you can use.  If you don’t like background noise, just sit quietly.  I chose the mantra “Faith over Fear”.  I have to remind myself that fear robs us of our happiness.  It takes away precious moments of calm.

We all have those stressful times and situations but we all have the tools to handle them. Mindfulness will help you feel calmer, which in turn will help you feel happier. I hope this was helpful.  Have a wonderful day.  Namaste.

Writer: Sue McGaughey

Email: suescoffeetalk@gmail.com

Column in City to Country magazine:

https://www.facebook.com/citytocountrymagazine/

 

 

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Not Letting Your Negatives Control You

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I’ve definitely made the mistake over and over again of letting my negative thoughts or circumstances control my outcome.  As a child, I grew up in a very abusive environment. I suffered everything from being burned with matches to locked in a trunk of a car. I went through years of physical and emotional abuse. Then one day, I decided no more! I was old enough to move out on my own. I went to school, worked a night job and took extra classes at a community college. When I finally had enough money, I moved away from that toxic environment. What I didn’t count on, was the fact that my bad karma, bad thoughts and bad past had sneaked in and implanted those negative thoughts in my  mind.  Whenever something good would happen in my life, I automatically expected something bad to happen. I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop! It has taken many years and many lessons for me to learn how not to let my negative past, my negative thoughts control my outcome.  To this day, I still research and work on improving myself in this area.

For anyone who has ever lived an abusive life, one of the most important rules I learned is that you must forgive yourself.  You may think you have done nothing wrong but that’s not true. What we do the abused is find ways to blame ourselves subconsciously.  We often feel that we must have done something to deserve the abuse. We also tend to dwell in the negative and fail to recognize or have faith in positive outcomes.  Maybe this doesn’t apply to everyone but it does apply to most.  For me, the biggest obstacle was learning to let go and forgive myself.  The next step was forgiving my abusers.  Yes, forgiveness will set you free and allow your mind to take steps to re-training.  Re-train your mind to think positively. When those negative thoughts arise, say to yourself, “Hello negative thoughts, thank you but no thank you. You can leave now”.  We are all unique individuals with different beliefs. For me,  I believe in God so I call in the white light of protection and my guardian angels. For others, you may believe in karma or the universe.  Whatever your beliefs, call in and ask for help and protection.  Protection from those negative thoughts.  Learn to release all of your negative energy, all of your past horror and accept a new, bright and positive future.

Children learn and develop patterns from a very young age.  They imitate what they see around them and often fall victim to abusers because what they see, what they have learned becomes their normal.  For me, my dad died when I was very little. My mom became involved with an abuser. This man was insanely jealous. He would beat her for taking out the trash and looking at a passing car, thinking she was flirting with someone. He was verbally and physically abusive.  I saw how he talked to her, how he treated her and I also saw how she submitted to him out of fear. My mom passed away a few  years ago and I hope she’s resting in peace.  My step-father was a very abusive man who finally committed suicide.  Later in years my mom met a wonderful man. It took her 3 tries to find the right one. By then she was already in her later part of life. I’m happy she found some love and happiness before she passed.

Having seen all of that abuse, as I grew I started to repeat some of the patterns I learned. I thought it was normal for men to be the boss, be controlling and women to be submissive. I thought it was normal for people to argue over stupid things.  I lacked self-confidence as well as the feeling of truly being loved by someone. I loved my mother but I felt she couldn’t really protect me from the trauma because she was so fearful herself. In turn, I chose destructive relationships in my life time.  I wanted to feel that love but I had no idea how it was suppose to feel.  I practically choked on my words if I had to say “I love you” to someone.  To me, anyone who loved you eventually hurt you.  Love had become a bad thing.  It wasn’t until later in years I met someone who made me feel safe, loved and secure.  We made beautiful children together. It was then I realized what true love was.  The love I felt as a mother was like no love I had ever experienced.  I knew I would never allow them to live the destructive and painful type of life that I lived. I would forever protect them and love them completely.

For years I had gone into deep depressions and didn’t even realize it.  When I was younger, it was normal for doctors to write you a prescription for valium or librium. Anything to numb the pain.  Now a days, I admit sometimes that depression sneaks up on me; the difference is, I recognize and am proactive in killing it off.  I consciously practice mindfulness and positive thinking. I look to my faith as well.  Every day I list at least three positives no matter how small.  It may look something like this: “I am thankful for my dog who loves me unconditionally, I am thankful to have a job, I am thankful the sun was out today.”  It doesn’t matter what your three positives are as long as you recognize them, acknowledge them and claim them as yours.  When something bad happens..and bad things do still happen, step back from the situation, write down what went wrong, why it went wrong and ask yourself how you can change it so it won’t happen again.  Keeping a journal is a big help.  You can always go back, read your journal and recognize any recurring patterns.  Eventually you will see the lesson, acknowledge the lesson and find the tools to break the pattern.

For all of you who are suffering abuse or depression, I hope this helps you a little today. I write a regular column for City to Country Magazine called #SuesCoffeeTalk.  It comes out bi-monthly. You can order it online or in hard copy. I’ll post the links here.  Until then, you can always follow me here. I hope you have a wonderful day. Think positive! Namaste

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S.W.A.T RE-BOOT..NOT REALLY

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CBS aired the premiere of S.W.A.T 2017 last night.  The show was created by Aaron Rahsaan Thomas (SouthlandThe Get Down) and Shawn Ryan (The Shield) and directed by Justin Lin (Fast and Furious).    Everyone has been calling it a re-boot but really the only re-boot was the theme song and even that had a twist on it.  Despite some harsh critic reviews, I have to say I liked it.  After watching S.W.A.T I can understand why some may say they are tired of politics and the same old topics that have been swirling around the #blacklivesmatter #handsupdontshoot , immigration, right vs. left and the list goes on.  Without coming right out to say it, S.W.A.T definitely had an undertone of touching on a few very sensitive political topics.  There has been much controversy over a lot of various topics in America these days. I saw the door opening to a show that is going to touch on those topics.  Now, some people will like it, some will get pissed off and some will just not care.  Those who are interested will be curious to see how Shemar Moore and his S.W.A.T team pull this off.

Moore’s character Hondo portrays a man conflicted between his loyalties to where he came from and his loyalties to the people in blue.  He wants to make a change but believes to make change, you have to be part of the change.   Moore does a great job just like he did on his previous show, Criminal Minds.  On S.W.A.T Moore portrays Hondo (Daniel Harrelson) who is promoted to team leader after Buck (former team leader) is removed for shooting an innocent kid.  Hondo isn’t too thrilled at first because he feels he’s being used as a face for the force because a white cop shot an innocent African-American kid.  However, Hondo takes over and leads his team his way.   Moore’s character has a strong presence that his fans will no doubt love.  It’s no secret that Shemar Moore has a huge fan following comprised of as he calls them, “fans, homies and baby girls”.   Baby Girl Nation was tuned in and united in supporting Moore’s new role.  According to all of their posts on social media, this show was and will be a hit!

S.W.A.T brought a lot of action.   It was non-stop action with a lot of visual stimulation.  The story line was good and kept your interest however, I did feel at times the dialogue was a little weak and cliche’.  The fighting scenes stuck out to me.  Who knew Alex Russell had those moves? Kuddos to the choreographers.  Shemar Moore leads the show with a strong performance.  His acting skills are excellent and engaging. I’m wondering why the big screen films aren’t picking him up yet? Perhaps S.W.A.T will propel him into that field.

All of the actors did a good job.  Stephanie Sigman plays Moore’s boss and love interest on the show.  As gorgeous as Sigman is, I didn’t really feel the chemistry between these two as far as a love interest.  Let’s see if it steams up or fizzles out.  Sigman does a good job of pulling you into her boss role.  She’s a woman who is into her job but at the same time is into her employee (Moore).   You could sense her conflicted emotions.  As far as action goes, all of the actors did great.  Kenny Johnson, who by the way can slam anyone down in an arm wrestling match, was believable.  His character sent out the vibe that he might not be too thrilled that Hondo is in charge. Guess we’ll have to wait and see how that plays out.  Jay Harrington, Lina Esco , David Lim all jived well together as a team.  I enjoyed the fact that Lina Esco was added to the team. Her character appeared kind of silent but strong, even taking someone out with a single shot at one point. Yet again touching on a controversial topic that a woman can do a man’s job.

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Overall the show is good.  It’s not as dry as some of the critics are making it out to be. I think if people continue to watch, they will see a week by week adventure that tackles a variety of controversial topics.   The action alone makes it worth watching and there is some subtle humor weaved in.  It sort of gives you the feel of a “Fast and Furious” mixed with “Miami Vice” kind of environment.  I’d say to those critics who are not liking S.W.A.T so much, “give it a chance”.  I think on point reviews will be based on week by week topics and seeing how the action unfolds.  Shemar Moore’s talent is leading the show for sure.  I know people get fixated on his good looks, charm and abs but seriously, the man can act.   I’d say it’s definitely a show worth watching every week.  I’m giving it 4 out of 5 coffee cups!

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Embrace Life: Don’t Abuse Yourself

embracelife We only get one life.  We need to learn to embrace it and make it the best we can for ourselves.   Time goes by fast, so don’t waste it on negativity, hate and issues or people who drain the life out of you.

Recently I became very ill.  I saw three doctors who all said the same thing, “Honey, your stress level is way too high. It’s going to kill you”!  It was a real eye opener for me.  I didn’t have the best childhood.  Actually, most people don’t know (because I don’t discuss my personal business a lot) that I suffered a lot of abuse as a kid.  That abuse carried over into my first few relationships until my jaw was cracked and my ribs were bruised. That day I looked in the mirror and said to myself, “No more”! From that day forward I changed everything for the better; for me!

I got off track a bit.  As a result of suffering and abusive childhood, I ended up being a people pleaser.  I was OCD about doing things right and fixing things around me.  I was always the person to lend a helping hand, give my last dollar, give my time and energy to those who needed it…but…I forgot about me.  Don’t get me wrong, I still am a giver by nature.  I think that as a human being we should all help one another when and if we can.   I think the thing is we need to learn to give to ourselves as well.  Don’t abuse yourself by not taking care of yourself.  We all have upkeep just like a car!  It’s so important that you take care of your mind, body and soul.  Learn how to meditate or find things that make you feel happy inside.  Don’t look to other people to make you happy because really it all starts with you!  If you have dreams (which I hope we all do), follow them! Never give up on your dreams.  It doesn’t matter what age you are, with age comes wisdom.   Life is full of mistakes that are really just lessons.  It’s up to you how you apply what you have learned.

Life is a gift.  A short, beautiful gift that we should embrace.  Learn to enjoy all the simple things in life.  You never know when tragedy is going to strike and everything is taken away from you.  You don’t know when your last day on earth is.  All you know is that you have the current day that you woke up into.  Take that day and make it worth living.  Laugh more, love more, kiss more and hug more! Did you know that Buddhists believe that hugging is essential to living a happy life?  I believe it.  Do things outside your circle, outside your box.  Talk to someone you don’t normally talk to, learn another language, travel to some place you dream of.   I’m guilty of working and always trying to save money for something.   What if the day never comes that I can do that something?  Plan those trips, follow those dreams, learn those de-stressing techniques.  Give thanks and gratitude to God or the universe. Whatever you believe in is your preference but always remember to be grateful.   Embrace life! Embrace you!

Shemar Moore and the S.W.A.T Team

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Hollywood, CA. 2017 – What’s buzzzing in the La La land news? Shemar Moore! Shemar’s fans, homies and baby girls (as he calls them) are waiting patiently for the T.V premiere of the new S.W.A.T series directed by Justin Lin.  Most people may think this is just a typical reboot series however, Shemar has expressed to his fans that this is much more than that.  SWAT tackles current issues that are happening in the world today.  Moore plays the role of #HONDO (Daniel Harrelson).  HONDO is a locally born and bred S.W.A.T. lieutenant whose torn between loyalty to the streets and his duty to his fellow officers.  He’s tasked with the responsibility to run a highly-trained unit that’s the last stop for solving crimes in Los Angeles.  One can imagine how relate-able this show may be to some, especially in this current age of violence, chaos and confusion.

As many Moore fans know, Shemar faced many challenges himself growing up, as he is bi-racial.  That has never stopped Shemar from doing anything.  He openly talks about how he is proud and accepts all areas of his race.  With the increasingly high tensions in the world today regarding racism, as well as other highly explosive controversial topics, SWAT will no doubt touch on some very sensitive topics.  Loyalty is royalty and in my own opinion, many of us humans are confused about what loyalty really is and means.  HONDO will have to make some rough decisions.

Shemar Moore takes the lead in this show. Although he is part of team, just as he was in the T.V show Criminal Minds, this time Moore is the leader.  From his social media comments you can see how serious he is about taking not only this show but his own personal career to a higher level.  Shemar Moore has passion, drive and purpose when it comes to his career.  He’s spent over 22 years in the entertainment industry and he’s not slowing down now!  He’s true to himself and true to his fans.  His homies, fans and baby girls are waiting with bated breaths to see if he delivers what he’s promised.  No doubt he will, as he has been training hard and embracing the role of HONDO with 100 percent focus.

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Moore is joined by a talented cast:

  • Stephanie Sigman as Jessica Cortez.
  • Alex Russell as Jim Street.
  • Jay Harrington as David “Deacon” Kay.
  • Lina Esco as Christina “Chris” Alonso.
  • Kenny Johnson as Dominique Luca.
  • Peter Onorati as Jeff Mumford.
  • David Lim as Victor Tan.

Fans…set your calendars, your DVRs and plan your watch parties for the CBS premiere of S.W.A.T scheduled to air on November 2nd, 2017 at 10 p.m. PST.  You won’t want to miss it.  Take a sneak peek at the trailer here:

The Bachelorette is Back..and she wants to FIX the men.

 

bachelorreteWell it’s been a while since I’ve been on my blog, so I thought I’d humor you all again.  It’s that time of year where I’m  hooked on reality T.V and the fantasy of dating two dozen men at once!  Yup..”The Bachelorette” is back in full swing. This year brings you Rachel Lindsay.

I actually really admire Rachel Lindsay. She’s got  it going on.  She’s beautiful, intelligent and seems to be a whole lot of fun.  Her taste in men though….not so much.  She seems to be going for the airheads instead of the well-balanced and complimenting men.  You would think a lady lawyer would want a man who can challenge her intellectually and encourage her to grow in areas where she needs growing.  Instead, she seems to be going for the fun loving, ‘save me’ cases.   Don’t get me wrong, I have a heart and I definitely believe in helping people but at some point in ones life, you must realize you can not fix others.  People only fix themselves when they want to.  You can encourage, support, suggest and be a role model when hoping to ‘fix’ someone.  Really, you’re probably wasting your time.

So let’s see who is left: Peter Kraus, 31; Bryan Abasolo, 37; and Eric Bigger, 29.  Kraus seems to have reservations about getting married. I’m not sure he’s even said “I love you” yet. So why is she keeping him around? Although, seems to me Peter Kraus is the smartest one on the show. I mean really? Who truly falls in love in just a few months of filming? Lust maybe, interest maybe, infatuation maybe but true love? I think true love takes time and definitely time away from the cameras. After all, you DO have to get to know each other in the real world.  Bryan Abasolo seems well fit for Rachel. He makes her laugh, is apparently pretty go with the flow and she seems to really enjoy his company. Eric Bigger, well Eric is definitely a ‘fix me’ situation.  He’s probably a super nice guy but does he have enough to challenge Rachel in the areas of life that she needs challenging in?  He’s good looking, smiles a lot, makes her think but you also seems glimpses of a temper that flares now and then. I think Rachel better think long about that one.  Having a temper is for sure a big red flag.

Now it’s that stage in the game where the overnights are coming up.  That’s right, Rachel gets to opt for private time and over night stays with these three young men.  We all know that spells SEX!  So does it come down to who she has the best chemistry with? My point is again, how on Earth can people fall in real love on a reality show. Okay, I know that Tristan and Ryan from like season one did but I’m convinced that’s a rare case. At any rate, I wish Rachel luck.  The one piece of advice I would give her is this, “Take your time. Really get to know these guys before saying I do to anyone.  You can’t get to know who they really are until you spend time with them in the real world.”

Well that’s my opinion for today. Who do you think Rachel will pick? Time to tune in to the show! Here’s a little peek at Rachel: